Today’s Sift will be the last one until May 12, three weeks from today. I need the time for two reasons related to my wife’s death in December: On May 4 I’m going to give probably the most difficult talk of my life, at the Unitarian Church of Quincy, Illinois. Back in 2023, I spoke there about my own views on life-after-death. In retrospect, though, that talk had a big hole in it, because I focused on thinking about my own death. This talk will try to fill that hole. I’m calling it “Life After (Somebody Else’s) Death”.
A lot of people (including a few of the voices in my head) have warned me that it’s too soon for me to take on that topic. But having had the idea, I found that I couldn’t not do it. It will be stressful to deliver, but I think it will be very good.
The second reason is how I’m getting there: This is going to be the first long-distance driving trip I’ve done solo for several decades. I’m going to take my time and visit several people along the way.
Anyway, the two weeks off don’t signal any kind of flagging of my commitment to this blog. I’m sure I will miss it and be eager to return to it on May 12.
Today has a bit of reduced schedule as well: There’s no featured post, but the summary be a little extra-long. It should appear around noon.
The Weekly Sift 
Comments
Safe travels and take the time to reflect…🙏❤️🙏
Have a safe trip…..no rush.Fred RicksonTucson, Arizona“Read something th
I hope your trip and talk go well and bring you the comfort and peace th
Doug, I hope you do what you need to do to aid in your healing. Please know that those of us who knew Deb (as I did) continue to miss her and hold her in our hearts.–Jill Drury (retired from MITRE)
Have a safe journey, Doug; both physically and emotionally.
traveling mercies and may God be with you.
Blessings to you as you make this drive and as you write and give this talk.
Good for you! I hope it’s a helpful time, if that makes sense.
Have a good trip!
See you here next week,then.
I’m sorry about your wife. I hope your travels bring some comfort. Appreciate your work.
I hope you fins peace as you explore your life after losing your wife. It’s a long road to travel but it doesn’t have to be alone. Accept help when it’s offered.
We will be thinking of you and send you condolence in your loss.
Traveling mercies, Mr. Muder. And thank you for posting your previous life-after-death talk. I just read it and found a lot of beauty in it. I think about death a lot, but personally and as an academic. (I’m working on a dissertation that thinks through some Christian nationalist rhetoric through the lens of Ernest Becker’s ideas of death denial and hero systems.) Wishing you joy, both expected and unexpected, on your trip and in giving your next talk.
Wow! It’s been close to 50 years since I read the astonishing Denial of Death – it sits on my shelf and I keep thinking I should read it again . . . Connecting it to what’s going on now sounds fascinating. May your writing go as smoothly as a dissertation can!
Rip Light
Thank you very much!
I’m sure the topic will continue to evolve for you, so I’m not sure when it wouldn’t be “too soon.” I usually find the “I couldn’t *not* do it” feeling to be pretty good guidance. I hope the solo long-distance drive is safe and satisfying.
Being of the age where we’re seeing people losing their spouses ( although it can happen at any age) I’d be very interested in reading the speech that you will be giving. My sister has described it like being in a tunnel that you can’t seem to get out of but which occasionally opens up to let in joy and sunshine, then closes again without warning. Good luck on your journey.
Take care and know that we will all be thinking of you and sending you much love.
Safe travels! Your words bring comfort to others, and I hope you will find your own as you make this journey.
Safe travels and thank you for the link to your talk in 2023. I hope the weather is fine so you can roll down the window and crank up the radio and really enjoy the drive to Illinois. Be sure to smile at the rest stops because there’ll be people along the way who’ll smile back. Take a few minutes before the talk to be alone to focus on breathing and the main points of your talk. Orchestra conductors do something similar before they walk onstage and tend to be strict about it. Enjoy the connections of giving the talk and I hope all goes well! Cinda
Hi Doug,
I wanted to reach out for a few reasons:
First, my husband (Jeff) and I greatly appreciate your weekly emails. I’ve frequently forwarded them to friends, some of whom have signed up to receive them as well.
Also, I am from Quincy and grew up attending the Unitarian Church there, and am still very connected with that church. My parents are Ted and Sandy Morrison, whom you may remember. Any my brother is Ben Morrison, who still lives in Quincy. They all loved when you were in the pulpit! In fact, I also give talks there on occasion. Unfortunately, I’ve not been in town when you’ve done a service, but I’ve watched one or two remotely. And I will be especially sorry to miss your May 4th service. I’m assisting in the pulpit at my church that Sunday, so won’t even be able to watch the Zoom service.
I now belong to the Unitarian Church of Hinsdale where I chair the Worship Team. (Hinsdale is in the Western suburbs of Chicago.) If you are ever in the Chicago area, I’d love to invite you to our church, which will remind you a little bit of the Q church.
Thank you again for so conscientiously and clearly sharing your perspective on the craziness in today’s world, and for representing Quincy and UUs so beautifully!
Best regards, Susan Morrison Hebble
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Hello, Doug, Just when we think we’ve learned pretty much everything we need, life shakes our complacency. I’ve found since Dick died how very much he is with me. I hope that’s true for you with Deb. So glad you’re going to visit with friends ona your way to Illinois. I imagine you to be eminently sensible, but I’m going to remind you to take all the good precautions, like drinking fluids, stopping to stretch every few hours, and noticing if you begin to feel sleepy. It’s not a race; pushing yourself can be dangerous. Short naps can be valuable. Wishing you a good trip. 👍🏽🎶🌹🙂 Meg
Sent from my iPhone
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Doug.
Have a safe trip with some, but not too many adventures. I will miss the Sift.
Liz Strand
1st UU of San Francisco
Doug
You have been my super hero since we met on the Porch at starisland.org about ten years ago.
Thanks for sharing this personal part of your life
David Mills
UU Meetinghouse of Provincetown
Go with God, Doug. Thank you for everything you offer us. May your time driving, and preparing the talk, be a blessing for you.
David
Good luck Doug. I wish I had words of wisdom for you but know my heart supports you.
Very sorry to hear about your wife Doug. All the best on your trip and speech…
Take care,
Bert Bowe
Pittsboro, NC